Three Pirate Jokes for Talk Like A Pirate Day!

Arrgh, me hearties! In two hours, it be Talk Like A Pirate Day!!! Be ye ready?
(September 19, 2010)

There be a'too many fav jokes, maties. Still, I be a'listin' three of 'em here for ye:

Q: How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced?
A: A buccaneer.

Q: Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
A: Because they spend years at C.

'N finally...

Q: What do you get with you cross a pirate with a zucchini?
A: A squashbuckler!

Map Turtles -- for real

On my FaceBook page, I'd let my friends know that I'd cleaned two map turtles this week from our oil spill back in July.

One friend commented back, "What in the world is a map turtle?"
Another added, "I'm glad someone else asked that question."

I wrote back (something like, without looking it up):
"A map turtle is a creature which, if you're lost and rub its underbelly, then put it down, you can follow it wherever you want to go."

(Actually, if you just do a search for it, lots of sites pop up about map turtles.)

Strange Names of Michigan Towns

Riding with some boy scout leaders this past week, one told me that he used to canoe with his troop to Alaska and back. The other one topped that by saying he took his troop to Hell and back.

Yep. Alaska and Hell are two towns in Michigan along the river.

Riding a Tandem Bike

While on Mackinac Island, MI, where no motor vehicles are allowed, we rented bikes for a couple hours. I took our younger son on a seat on my back wheel. My husband rode a tandem bike with our six-year-old son behind him. Thing is, on the tandem bike, the adult seat in the front did not have adult pedals or spacing. My husband's legs were moving like he was doing the doggy-paddle the entire time. Also, our six-year-old didn't mind all the hard work. He told his dad that he could relax, because he (our son) had things covered equally. Dad would pedal going up the hills, while he would pedal going down.

Herpetologist and Snaky Humor

While researching snakes for a writing project, the herpetologist at Reptile Gardens in Rapid City, South Dakota, gave me a personal tour our the place during off-season winter. He answered all my questions, and so much more.

At one point, he paused in front of the emerald snakes' glass cage. Pretty animals, I thought. Aggressive animals, he said. I took a step back.

He told me they weren't poisonous, but that during the summer months, he liked to wait until there was a crowd in front of these pretty (and aggressive) animals to feed them or clean their cage. They were very passive, until he reached in, at which time the snakes came alive, striking at him with open mouths, while the visitors screamed and pointed.

He raised his long sleeved shirt and said, "See? They're just like cat scratches, and don't even hurt as much."

Herpetologist humor.

HOWEVER, the author of this post does NOT encourage you to stick hand, arm, or any other body part into a snake cage, poisonous or not. Thank you very much.

Animal Joke

Question: What do you get when you mix an elephant with a jaguar?






Answer: A car with a really big trunk.

Another Funny Road Sign

A road sign (actually, a billboard) in Chicago area:

Your wife is hot.
Time to get your AC fixed.

This was an ad for a Four Seasons... I think. We drove past it in Chicago-I-94 traffic.