Sore Throat -- Happy Husband

I woke this morning with a sore throat. It hurt to swallow. It hurt to talk. So I pantomimed to my husband my situation. He got a silly grin on his face, and then started doing a jig around the house, singing out loud, "I can talk without being interrupted. I can talk without being interrupted."

Store Sign Humor

Traveling down the road, DH wanted to know what a BOGO chicken was. I laughed, confessed I didn't know the first time I'd seen those letters either, then explained it wasn't a type of chicken, but stood for Buy One, Get One. The display of my worldly knowledge only confused him further. "If you pay for a chicken, don't you get one -- the one you bought?"

So... we have decided that BOGO should actually be BOGOF, although that may be confusing to others. It makes a lot more sense.

How To Make Decisions

My husband and I were watching a series on DVD. It was near bedtime. There were two episodes left in the two-year series. Should we be foolish and stay up to watch those two, or be wise and get ready for bed?

I was too tired to decide. Apparently, so was he. “Let’s flip a coin,” I suggested. Of course, neither of us had a coin on us, so that meant one of the potatoes getting off the couch just to find a coin to make a late night press-the-button-or-not decision.

On the table next to me was a clean dinner knife I hadn’t used for a snack. “I’ll flip the knife. If it lands on the rug pointing towards the TV, we’ll watch it; if it lands pointing towards us, we’ll go to bed.” At that very logical-to-me solution, there were some threats about what might happen to me and the knife if it landed in the flat screen, but I courageously flipped it anyway. So, how did it land? Exactly perpendicular, i.e., sideways.

I know how we interpreted that, but how would you have?

Epiphany Joke

Question: What would have happened if it had been Three Wise Women instead of men who came to see the Christ child?

Answer: they would have asked for directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole, and brought practical gifts.

Hidden Stocking Gifts

A few years ago, my husband and I bought our three kids identical, really nice (read expensive) stocking gifts. Since it was a few months before Christmas, I hid them away. (Can you hear the punchline coming?) I hid them so well, I haven't been able to find the gifts since. My only hope is that someday, when they're found, they will be worth a lot more than the original cost.

Jury Duty

My poor old dad was selected for jury duty.

I should say, my poor DEAD dad was selected for jury duty -- nearly a year after he died.

Um... I'm sure we're no longer getting his social security checks. I find it a bitter-sweet thing to laugh about with all sorts of images flying through my mind. Dad died on Christmas Eve day last year.

Christmas Elf Joke

(Old one:)

Question: What's an elf's favorite music?

Answer: Wrap Music.