The Lighter Side of Catastrophe

Because a tree crashed through our old windows, now at last, six weeks later, our new windows showed up in our construction person’s red truck. My husband looked out and said, “ I wonder if it was a pane to drive them here?” I groaned and he continued, “You should have seen through that.”

Tree Removal Humor

A tornado went through our neighborhood a week ago. That wasn’t funny in the least. But there was no human loss, for which we were all very grateful. But the noise! Generators screeched all night long, and chain saws buzzed all day. Because there was no power, people worked from sunup to sunset.

At 8 p.m. a few days later, while trying to cut away at the base of our 60-year-old fallen oak suddenly the tree removal guys stopped their machines, even though there was another 90 minutes worth of daylight. It was eerily quiet.

My husband commented: “They stopped! I wonder if they got stumped?”

It's Command Day!

Yes, folks, it's Command Day. So get out there and .... MARCH FORTH!

(Okay, so it works better when you speak it than when you write it.)

My Down Vest -- How Sad

I told my husband that I had to take my vest to the cleaners because it was down.
He replied: "How sad. Maybe you could play with it, or sing to it, to cheer it up."

Word Play; Play Words

See lake?
Sea lake.
I see lake.
Burr. Icy lake.

Another Punny Tale

As I came rushing into the house, I reached the door handle, but missed it, swinging my arm in front of me as in an "aw-shucks" gesture. I said to my husband, "I missed the door." He replied, "Is that the bull-fighter who didn't show?"

Happy Anniversary, Sand Castles Blog! (a joke)

I almost let it slip past without one balloon getting burst or even licking any real or e-frosting from my lips.

It's been one whole year since I started this Sand Castles Humor Blog. Yeah. I love celebrations. Whoo. So here is a TWO FOR ONE -- a first on this blog, I do believe. I shall share my brother's one and only clean joke he knows (by his own admission):

Question: What do you get when there are 25,000 female pigs on this side of a hill, and 25,000 male deer on the facing hill, and they run down to the valley together?



(waiting... thinking...)




Answer: One hundred sows and bucks.

(If you didn't get it, say the answer quickly. Okay, more quickly. More... Got it now? Happy Anniversary, Sand Castles!)

What's the Name of that Toad?

There's a toad in the plants under our living room picture window. He's about a fist and a half big. When I showed him to my hubby (from our living room), he asked me what I was going to name him. As I was thinking (and wondering if I even wanted to name him), my husband joked, "Ah-choo. I hab a toad."

"Perfect name," I replied.

So, in honor of my hubby's un-realized suggestion, and of Mel Brooks, Ah-choo hops down the garden path of our backyard. (God bless you.)

Lyin' Lion

For decades, on a corner of a busy intersection in town, there sat a waist-high, cement lion. About three years ago, it suddenly disappeared. I felt wounded, like part of our town's history was missing.

A couple weeks ago, in order to avoid traffic, I drove down a narrow side street, about a mile from the busy intersection. Lo and behold! There, sitting next to a warehouse, was the lion!

I was so excited with my find, that the next time my husband and I were in a car together, I took him down that very road. However, by this time, someone had knocked the poor lion over.

My husband's first thought: "The lion's lyin', and I ain't."

"Religious Freedom" Shoes

Went mall walking yesterday while it rained outside. Well, we just walked both levels, bought two shirts on super sale, then went home.

BUT as we passed a shoe store, I noticed the name brand of shoes I'd never seen before. They are called "Religious Freedom." (Truth!)

I turned to my dear husband and quipped: "When you wear one, it will give comfort to your sole."

Life in Our House

I started complaining about something or other to my husband (Me complaining? Go figure.) when he rose and said, "All right, I think I'll let that anger be."

As he left the room, I started "buzzing" in his direction. Then I squinted after him and started buzzing angrily. I never knew one could buzz angrily before. It's more like a growling buzz.

My hubby's pace quickened, and he threw over his shoulder, "That would make a one-star sci-fy movie."

New Battery Factory (very punny)

As we drove past a large area under construction, my husband turned to me and said, "That will be a new batter factory... Shocking, isn't it?... I thought you'd get a charge out of knowing that."