What Disabilities?

I attended a song-writing workshop this past week. Our presenter started out with, "Can anyone give me a starting line for a song?" The woman next to me raised her hand high, waiting to be called on for her suggestion. Thing is, our presenter has been blind since birth.

Michigan Snowbird Resident

Gone south for the winter.

Sore Throat -- Happy Husband

I woke this morning with a sore throat. It hurt to swallow. It hurt to talk. So I pantomimed to my husband my situation. He got a silly grin on his face, and then started doing a jig around the house, singing out loud, "I can talk without being interrupted. I can talk without being interrupted."

Store Sign Humor

Traveling down the road, DH wanted to know what a BOGO chicken was. I laughed, confessed I didn't know the first time I'd seen those letters either, then explained it wasn't a type of chicken, but stood for Buy One, Get One. The display of my worldly knowledge only confused him further. "If you pay for a chicken, don't you get one -- the one you bought?"

So... we have decided that BOGO should actually be BOGOF, although that may be confusing to others. It makes a lot more sense.

How To Make Decisions

My husband and I were watching a series on DVD. It was near bedtime. There were two episodes left in the two-year series. Should we be foolish and stay up to watch those two, or be wise and get ready for bed?

I was too tired to decide. Apparently, so was he. “Let’s flip a coin,” I suggested. Of course, neither of us had a coin on us, so that meant one of the potatoes getting off the couch just to find a coin to make a late night press-the-button-or-not decision.

On the table next to me was a clean dinner knife I hadn’t used for a snack. “I’ll flip the knife. If it lands on the rug pointing towards the TV, we’ll watch it; if it lands pointing towards us, we’ll go to bed.” At that very logical-to-me solution, there were some threats about what might happen to me and the knife if it landed in the flat screen, but I courageously flipped it anyway. So, how did it land? Exactly perpendicular, i.e., sideways.

I know how we interpreted that, but how would you have?

Epiphany Joke

Question: What would have happened if it had been Three Wise Women instead of men who came to see the Christ child?

Answer: they would have asked for directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole, and brought practical gifts.