Friday, April 29, 2011
Our two sons decided to have a reunion in Las Vegas, each taking a couple of their friends. Late one night, the “boys” were sitting around a table when an inebriated girl came up to them, followed by her friends. She spoke first to our older son.
“It’s my 21st birthday. You’re cute. Are you married?”
“Yes.” He tapped his wedding ring.
“But are you happily married?”
“Yes! But he isn’t.” With a sly smile, he pointed to his brother. She turned on him.
“So are you married?”
Honest son that he is, he answered, “No.”
The girl then asked, “But are you happily married?”
He thought about it for half a sec, then answered, “Yes!”
The girl moved on to another table.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
(Personal note: Today, I’m in Grand Rapids, MI, leading two workshops at Calvin College’s Youth Writers Festival working with middle school and high school youth. The name of the two workshops? “Getting on Your Funny.” Guess what I’ll be talking/teaching about?)
And for our final Fly in the Soup joke during this year’s National Humor month, here is an example of Escape or Release humor.
Customer: Waiter, waiter! There’s a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Oh, thank goodness! I thought it might be that mouse again.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
My mother had a heart attack. (That, actually, was not very funny.) As soon as I was contacted by phone, I threw clothing enough for four days into a bag and within ten minutes, was on the road. I made the four hour drive in a little over three hours. I arrived at 11:00 p.m., and was informed by an in-law that I couldn’t see my mother. Rebel that I was, I replied, HA!
I jumped back into the car and drove to the hospital. When I went into her ER room, she seemed to be sleeping. I didn’t say anything, but just stood over her. Suddenly her eyes popped open, and she cried out in surprise. That set off all sorts of alarms and whistles on her machines. The nurses to came rushing. They gave me threatening looks, while both my mother and I tried to stop laughing. Great, I thought. I’d come to comfort my Mom, and instead nearly killed her with a second heart attack.
When I got back to my parents’ apartment, I’d discovered that there wasn’t a single piece of clothing I’d thrown into my bag which matched anything else. Mother recovered, just fine, but I’m guessing the nurses are still talking about the mis-matched clown who tried to kill one of their patients in the middle of the night.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
Friday, April 8, 2011
When I was 19 years old, I was a chaperone for 50 inner city high schoolers from Des Moines on a cultural trip to Minneapolis. It was a long drive. Most of them slept through the Shakespearean play. We stayed at a hotel. As the other female chaperone and I patrolled the halls after curfew, we smelled something funny. My partner recognized it as marijuana.
I knocked on the door from which the odor emanated. No answer. I knocked again, identifying who we were, and that they had better open up, RIGHT NOW. Still no answer. I pounded on the door, telling the occupants through the closed door that they had better stop what they were doing or the hotel would kick us all out in the middle of the night, to say nothing about getting arrested. It was late. Not a peep of a response. I didn’t feel like packing up and getting 50 sleepy kids back on a bus to another state. So we went to bed.
In the morning, I checked the roster of rooms where our people stayed. I was going to really chew those girls out for being so stupid. It was then that I discovered the room I pounded on in the night was not one of the rooms on our list of kids.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Welcome to yet another day of National Humor Month.
I'm trying to remain disciplined. I really am. Last month I decided to have Thursdays be "share a video link" day for this bit of humor every day in April. Thing is, I really don't like opening forwarded links from friends. Some email me links only, and never even say "howdy." That being said, snatches of video are very common. SO, I gave in and will share at least one video link with you.
Because I learned how to type on an old-fashioned typewriter, when this clip first passed by my I could honestly relate to it.
A Senior Moment: http://www.myspace.com/video/vid/105171780
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
Saturday, April 2, 2011
I've designated Saturdays during April as the day to share jokes I've heard. I’m going to break my discipline on day two of National Humor Month, by giving two jokes (v.s. one). Yay.
What do you get when you cross a dog with a frog? A croaker spaniel.
What do you get when you cross an adult with a moan? A groan-up.
Friday, April 1, 2011
I don’t have a single funny thing to share today. APRIL FOOLS!
Time for a family story. When our family moved from wintery Buffalo, NY, to sunny Rapid City, SD, our one son was in 7th grade. Mind you, it does snow in the Black Hills, but usually just up north, and you have to do driving to look for it. In our 8 winters there, our street was only plowed four times. Although, solar snow removal and four-wheel drives were the norm.
Our son went three years just putting on a sweatshirt if it got cold enough to do so. But one week, the temperature stayed in the teens for several days. He finally agreed to wear a coat to school. He put it on. His arms stuck out from his elbows down.
BAD MAMA! He’d grown a lot in those three years, and because he never wore winter coats, bad mama hadn’t thought to buy him one. Bad Mama!!