Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Rules of Etiquette When You're Choking

I like to embellish my cereal with fruits, nuts, and/or flax seed. Last week, a mouthful of cereal headed down my throat with a not-very-finely-chewed almond slice. This dainty bit of nut landed length-wise across my throat, refusing to move up or down. Knowing that eating bread helps to push stuck food downward, I dove for our freezer. (With only two of us living here, bread tends to dry out quickly unless frozen.) I ripped open the bag, grabbed two pieces, and started cramming them into my mouth, crumbs and ice crystals spraying out about me as I attempted to thaw and chew and swallow the bread at the same time. It worked.

I looked up at the stunned look on my husband's face. He rolled his lips inwards as he turned away to keep from laughing, finally saying, "I didn't know what to do. We had hot dog buns in the refrigerator. Plus, I didn't think it was proper to laugh when my wife was choking to death." He pointed to the circle of bread crumbs surrounding me.

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